I have never considered myself a particularly avid shopper. I know women who buy new clothing, accessories and cosmetics on an almost weekly basis, but I have never really had the money or inclination to shop that frequently, and the appeal of noisy, crowded shopping malls has always eluded me.
Therefore I was surprised to discover, during the first Covid lockdown, that I actually missed shopping. Not the mundane, weekly slog around the supermarket (now with added queues, masks, inconvenience and hand sanitiser), but the spontaneous, 'let's pop in here and browse' type of shop.
I missed walking past an attractive window display and veering inside to have a closer look. I missed antique centres, charity shops, craft markets and rootling through bric-a-brac. And, as birthdays came and went and Lockdown continued, I missed shopping for presents.
So, like millions of other people, I turned to the Internet. Of course, I had shopped online before, but mainly for books and, well, things other than clothes. Clothes, I had always felt, needed to be seen and touched. How could you really gauge a fit, a cut, a fabric, a particular pattern or shade, from a photograph?
Turns out I was right. The first item I bought, a pair of jeans, was returned and exchanged three times before I gave up and finally settled for a refund. This was a brand I knew and had worn before, yet none of the jeans that landed on my doorstep in any way resembled the style, colour and fit I expected.
It happened again when I ordered some wellies. Same make, same style, same size as my old pair, yet totally different fit. Yes, even wellies are more complicated than you'd think.
As if this were not frustrating enough, each return order then necessitated online request forms/emails, and a trip to the Post Office (mask, sanitiser, very long queue), followed by a wait until the money was finally refunded to my bank account.
Over the course of the last year and a bit, as shops closed, reopened and reclosed, I ventured online to buy clothing several more times, still with little success. Underwear proved particularly trying as my seemingly simple order was first cancelled, then wrongly delivered, then cancelled again, before finally turning out not to fit.
Apparently, the online customer services adviser informed me, via 'chat', it was not possible to exchange for a different size; I would have to place a new order. Of course, by the time I did, the things I wanted were out of stock.
My next foray into online clothes buying was in the run up to my birthday when my partner asked for some ideas as to what he might get me. I picked out a few items, which he then ordered. Everything was in the same size, yet, baffling, half the clothes were too big. Of course, these then had to be returned, and the money refunded; then, because my partner wanted me to choose replacements, the whole process had to be gone through again. Second time round, nothing fitted.
What intrigues me, though, is how differently other people react when I share my experiences of online clothes shopping. Without exception, people my age and older nod sympathetically and have their own misadventures to relate; while younger shoppers are bemused. They have grown up shopping online and simply factor in the inconvenience of items needing to be returned.
Just as I might trawl through the clothing rails in a shop, then take a selection of things into the fitting room to try, so young online shoppers order more items than they actually want, on the understanding that the rest can be sent back. They don't expect everything to fit or to be the right colour or shape. Printing out a returns label and repackaging the rejects is simply part of the shopping process.
As I tape up yet another parcel of ill-fitting garments, I am very aware that I am not a Millennial. Shopping for clothes online (then subsequently returning them) is not my idea of fun, and my formative shopping years were spend in actual High Street stores, not in front of a screen trying to work out how tall the model is and whether that's the right shade of green.
This month, retailers have finally been allowed to reopen after the latest Lockdown. Shops, beloved shops! Oh how I have missed you! I'm on my way – just as soon as I've been to the Post Office...